Joy In the Morning

"Despair not of the mercy of Allah." Quran

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psalms 30:5)” Bible

"When you think everything is someone else´s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy..." Dalai lama

This is me, uncovered and swimming in Mercy Oceans. Much has happened since my last posting. I decided to stop covering my hair and wearing Islamic dress. Interestingly, I haven't felt this close to Allah in a long time. Since my last posting, I've had on a swimsuit for the first time in 25 years, entered a pool and felt the water all over my body. I've bought clothes that fit my body. I'm real in touch with my inner 14 year old (smile).

The hijab/modest dress became a cave that I lived in and looked out at the world but was restrained from full participation. For me, it became turning my back on my body and my full interaction with the world. I'll be exploring this more as I continue to explore the world uncovered.

My Internet service has been having many technical difficulties and I've been rediscovering myself and reconnecting with my own heart and soul. I've been blessed with amazing people in my life who in their own unique ways are waving banners of direction and celebration.

The woman is this picture, with her big grin and her huge fish is ME. I'm living in joy and also terrified that so many of my undreamed dreams are not only coming true but abound in my present life.

I attended a workshop on Saturday entitled, "Transforming Barriers with an Open Heart" with Cheri Maples and rather than finding a "recipe" to teach my boys how to deal with the police, I transformed or at least acknowledged some of my own barriers, including my deep belief that I'm not very smart. I had enough courage to say it out loud and received such loving feedback. My heart family doesn't love me because I'm a hard worker or make them breakfast (although, I'm willing to do that and more), they love ME for ME.

I am in tears remembering the outpouring the the hugs I received. I am so blessed and my heart is opening to acknowledge the ways in which I have allowed abuse in my life and accepted mistreatment as "normal."

One of the exercises was to identify your core values that you want to stand for. Here are mine: Love, Gratitude, and Joy. This blog is part of the journey to develop and serve these core values.

So that plump lady is me smiling and on my way, Inshallah, to New Mexico at the end of the month to discover the heart I so love sharing.