A Heart's Journey: Visiting the Mosque

I went to a "moderate mosque" today. It is revolutionary in that women, though seated in the back, do see and hear the imam without the need for video feeds. Yet, even in this environment, nodding at my son as he waived across the room at me seemed strange and artificial.

I wrote this as part of a discussion about "unisex" mosques on Belief Net:

"I've continued to think about this "separate but unequal" aspect that seems entrenched in Islam since my earlier post. The Quran says "oppression is worst than slaughter." In thinking about my embrace of my inequality within Islam, I am reminded of the truth of Allah's word. Even my earlier suggestion that women start our own prayer circles is an indication of the wisdom of Carter G. Woodson, the father of Black History, who noted that a mis-educated person who is taught that he or she must enter the back door of a house, will create a back door if none exists. In my effort to stay engaged with the community I suggested a creation of my own "back door."

My embrace of this situation for many, many years is amazing given the history of African Americans with apartheid. The "white" water fountain was not the same as the "colored" water fountain, and even if they were the same the explanation of the need for them is an expression of racism, no matter how pretty or nuanced the explanation. Likewise, for a people that say, "heaven is at the foot of the mother," and then proceed to put the mother in the basement next to the bathroom, the treatment of women in this deen is reprehensible.

I have been an apologist for these inequalities, focusing on Allah and not Muslims, but the beauty of Islam is the understanding that the community must be an expression of Allah's love for his creation. I will not argue with "scholars" who will quote hadith that express the "legality" of the inferior position of women in this religion. Nor am I interested in engaging in destructive "halaqas" with women who, as I have in the past, embrace the "separate and equal" doctrine set forth as proper teaching.

Islam at the moment, seems to lack a vocabulary which focuses on the reality of life for women like myself and our children. Instead, like Jim Crow, it encourages ignorance of both men, in their superior position, and women in their inferior position. There is no where to turn to even to discuss these injustices without being demonized. Meanwhile, focus is placed almost exclusively on women's dress, while women's despair and ill health go unnoticed. Focus is on homosexuality, but not domestic violence. I watch communities that seem obsessed with Palestine and unconcerned about their neighbors.

For me the discussion has ended, I am not staying in the back of the bus."

If love of Allah is the definition of a Muslim, then I am a Muslim. But if a Muslim is one who accepts dogma of sexism, homophobia, denial of injustice, and embrace of violence, then I am something else. Perhaps I am a Muslim and something else.